Friday, November 13, 2020

How to deal with narcissist

 All of the answers given so far are highly unsatisfactory. For instance, telling a narcissist that he is a narcissist will not likely cause him to change his behavior; rather, it may cause him to hunker down and defend himself even more fiercely. Similarly, offering advice like "Just ignore them" or "React in kind" seems unlikely to work well in practice.

It is true that narcissists are often unhappy, but the reason they are unhappy is because of their behavior. They could be much happier if they did not behave in self-destructive ways.

It is important to understand that narcissism is not just a light form of selfishness, but rather it is a sickness unto itself. It has many causes, including social influences and some genetic / neurological influences.


The problem with the narcissist is that they are so good at rationalizing their actions that many people find it difficult to deal with them. They will often point out logical flaws in other peoples' arguments, but seem unable or unwilling to do the same when others question their own behavior.

For example, the narcissist will often admit that they are not happy with certain aspects of their life, but will insist that it is everybody else's fault for not appreciating them enough.

The narcissist will claim that they are being victimized, and is often able to convince their social circle of this by playing the 'woe-is-me' card. For example, if someone accuses them of something inappropriate or ignorant, the narcissist would feign hurt feelings and pull out a string of excuses for why it was everyone else's fault.

The problem is that the narcissist never accepts responsibility for their own actions. They're always quick to blame others if something goes wrong, but will always avoid taking any personal accountability.

A narcissist will often find someone to be their 'supply' in order to feed the emptiness inside them. This person can be a lover, spouse, boss, or even just a friend. The narcissist will shower this supply with attention and flattery in order to get what they want.

The problem is that the narcissist doesn't recognize the difference between an authentic connection and a manipulative one. The narcissist will deceive their supply into believing that they are special, when in fact they have no genuine feelings of love or admiration towards them.


The advice I think would be useful to someone dealing with a narcissist, is not to try to understand what motivates them. They are an entirely different type of person than yourself and the only way you could ever come close to understanding how they think would probably require some sort of neurological rewiring or genetic modification that makes your brain significantly more similar to theirs.


The important thing is just recognize that they have their own set of motivations and desires, but those are very different from yours so it's probably best not even trying figure them out.

If you are dealing with a narcissist, the best thing to do is just try to get as far away from them as possible. I realize that this isn't always an option for people and sometimes they will be in your life whether you like it or not, but if there is some way you can extricate yourself from their presence then that would probably be your best bet.

The reason for this is that narcissists are not only extremely irritating to be around, but they also tend to get what they want out of life more often than not. This isn't because they have some great set of skills or mind tricks or anything like that, it's just because the way their minds work causes them to react in ways that people with normal personalities don't always understand.

Narcissists are what some people refer to as 'ego-driven'. This means that they have a very strong sense of self identity and not much else. From the perspective of an outside observer, this can seem like narcissism but it's really just the way their brain is set up. They don't care about other people or even things for that matter, all they care about is themselves.

So if you are dealing with a narcissist, and they are constantly trying to get their way in situations or you can just tell that things don't seem right when they're around, the best thing you can do for yourself is try not to be around them as much as possible.

Another thing you can do is to try and figure out what rewards they are getting from the way that they act. If it seems like their behavior is making them feel good about themselves, then there's a good chance that this behavior will continue so long as you keep giving them what they want.

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